guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
