Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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