i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize