she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
