you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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