it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
