Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
