i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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