And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
