As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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