I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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