no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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