Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
