Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
