I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
