her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
