They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
