1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
