this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
