He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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