matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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