32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
