were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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