Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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