Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I CAN MOONWALK!
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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