At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
