FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
