She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
