At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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