Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
