garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
