but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
