ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize