They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
