Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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