I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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