i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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