I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
