Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
