Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
