you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
