He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
