I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
