it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
