I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
