Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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