His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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