And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
