dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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