it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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