Heybabeimwearingurpanties
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
