his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
