He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
