New low: just hacked my moms facebook
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize