East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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